Sunday we went to see MIB3. Will Smith is older, and Tommy Lee’s old. The storyline, like almost all time travel movies, was sketchy. But it was, you know, Men in Black: imminent disaster, save the world as the clock ticks. Dark, deadpan humor (I like that part), Smith and Jones (wasn’t that a TV show in the 70s?—I think it was), are good, because, well you know, they are. The familiar banter, Smith saying something witty, Jones raising an eyebrow, snarky minor characters, amazing effects, it was all there.
Enter Josh Brolin.
Don’t get me wrong; he was good; almost perfect. It was neat—as in tidy and not amazing. He was a softer, gentler, less jaded and cynical K. And if I hadn’t known the Tommy Lee Jones K, I might have liked it just fine. But I do know the elder K, and his previous-version-created-more-than-a-decade-later, doesn’t measure up. He was just too nice to J.
The bad guy, Boris, looked like Worf in the throes of jak’tahla whilst trapped on Vulcan. Really, even if I weren’t in the middle of a Star Trek marathon, this would be my description. Or maybe he could be described as a semi-intelligent Uruk-hai, with some funky bug fetish on a chopped space-Harley. Yeah that works too. To make it worse, Boris was pretty insecure in his bad guy-monster image. I think he may have been bullied as a child by the real bad guy monsters.
And then there was the time travel thing, sketchy. Sketchy. How could the same person inhabit the same space in two different bodies? Yeah. It all falls apart for me right there. How can you talk to your former self? And if you’re both there together co-existing, doesn’t that mean you have changed the time/space continuum – and that both beings would be functioning independently from that moment forward? Yes, I thought about this in the theater.
When you have time to consider the meta-fictional physics involved in a plot, it’s not a movie you should have spent $10 to see. Stay home, wait for Netflix.
Alias Smith and Jones—that was it, with Pete Duel and Ben Murphy. 71? Maybe later. I wonder if I can instant watch that…