A friend of mine used to say, A good day can’t get any better, but a bad day, a bad day, can always get worse.
Truer words were never spoken.
Some days, I feel like contestants on Survivor would be unable to navigate my life. Yesterday, I awoke early and wrote a fairly entertaining blog post. I was bolstered by the fact that almost 50 people a day are reading my little blog. It’s still in its infancy really; so this is encouraging, thank you. I was, for a brief moment, content.
Then there was the school bus drama…the grandchildren drama…the insurance drama…groceries drama…the usual money dramas…impending weather drama…brilliant student drama…
Each issue wove itself intricately—almost seamlessly—into the next. By noon, my body was reacting. The knuckles on my right hand, actually each joint on that hand, had turned a bright pink.
An RA symptom.
A shot across the bow.
By 3pm, my stomach was in rebellion. There were a dozen or so standard work issues throughout the course of the day, as there are everyday, at every job. By 7, I had a sore throat and stuffy nose.
This morning, my rings are tight, my joints inflamed. I am having trouble moving from a sitting to a standing position. I am stiff and achy as I begin what is likely to be a 14hr work day. I have a day filled with banking, staff meetings, conferences calls, teaching, scheduling, creating individualized educational programs for kids, teachers’ meeting, and then cleaning. I’ll work through lunch and dinner.
I am grateful that I have a group of supportive people around me, both at home and at work. I understand that I am blessed (see previous post for definition) to spend my days doing what I love in the company of people I respect and whose company I enjoy. I know that having a large family is both a blessing and a curse.
I understand, on an intellectual level, that allowing the pressures of OPB into my reality is a choice. But it’s hard when people you love are imposing upon you their chaos, stress, frustration, desires… At some point, those individuals need to come to the realization that my world is not the world according to their wishes, be it parent or child. My world, has to be about me. If what I do upsets someone, I’m sorry. All I can do is what I think is right in the moment. The next right thing.
For me, the next right thing is to stay healthy – probably at the expense of some things I cherish. For you, and you know who you are, the next right thing should be to consider what your personal dramas, and responses do to those around you. Please remember to put your brains gear before you put your mouths in motion.
And today will be a long, but good, day. It will be a day without drama. I have my eye focused on the writing retreat I am doing in May/June. And that is keeping me marching forward.